One of Ali’s aunties in Iran sent us a sweet email yesterday:
“I appreciate your feeling. it shows you’re satisfied and running a joyful life. How is our lovely sweetie? I’ve heard that it is a baby boy. Congratulations. Boys are more serious than girls so dealing with them are easier and also they are more naughty so you can not have a chance to rest. prepare yourself.”
Ali refers to the baby as our little burrito. We’ve had fun with the ambiguity of not knowing whether it’s going to have boy or girl parts, but now that I am 20 weeks along it’s time to learn some more information about the child growing inside.
We learned that at 20 weeks, it’s about 12 ounces. This is a guess from the tech based on measurements and proportions from the ultrasound. Speaking of measurements, Burrito measures in at very average percentages.
This brought in a VERY interesting emotional response from me when the tech said we were average in all areas. For all of my life I have been in the top 10% percentile for everything I cared about (grades, extracurriculars, etc), mostly because I have always tried so hard. But also because I have big feet and unusual body proportions. So being way outside the group curve has become a bizarre point of pride for me (even the big feet part: “at least I am in the top 5% for my age!”) and also makes me feel exceptional.
So then, the tech is telling me my baby is not exceptional and it made me sad. Ali pointed out that this is actually a good thing, and that my body would probably not be happy with an overly large child to host for another five months. And that having a child developing right in the middle is probably the safest place to be. But part of me still died that something I produced was not top ten percent material.
Isn’t that messed up? Brains and emotions are strange sometimes.
Oh yeah, ps: IT’S A BOY! Cigars all around.
Persians don’t write thank you cards.
They call each other instead. All the time. Whenever a birthday, anniversary, death, sickness, visit, or fight in the family happens. When someone travels to Iran or another part of the country for a visit, you call to ask how they are.
[note to self, 2010?]
Happy Autumn! This past weekend my husband and I did the Oregon “Fruit Loop”, enjoying a scenic drive an hour north of Portland to stop at several farms to enjoy seasonal produce – pumpkins, squash, pear, apples, donuts, cider, pies… small batch wineries, lavender farms, etc.
So I am sixteen? seventeen? weeks into this pregnancy and I have been experiencing strange obsessive cravings for bad, bad things.
(sidebar: NO I AM NOT NAUSEOUS! Everyone loves to ask pregnant ladies if they are throwing up.)
So I am feeling pretty good, because I have learned that if I eat enough high calorie foods throughout the day, it just works for me. Fall treats like pumpkin breads are especially delicious! Energy and motivation is a real issue for me in this pregnancy; I have been getting tons of sleep and watching a lot of netflix these past couple of months.
Anyway, I have noticed a food issue that is new to me – when I think about or see/read a reference to a food… say, I see a photo on a blog featuring a cupcake… then I start obsessing over wanting a cupcake. Or if I read a review of the new restaurant down the street that makes mac & cheese… I suddenly need mac & cheese. It’s mostly all about bread, cheese, and sugars. Anything cake-like or pizza-like and it is the most important thing in the world for me to eat it immediately. I also have a lot of cravings to drink wine with meals, but I am refraining.
I am not proud of these obsessive thoughts. I want to crave healthy foods and eat nothing but fruits and veggies and whole grains. Unfortunately my system is acting like a two year old seeking the next sugar high.
In fact, not only am I a little fascinated / ashamed of this phenomenon, I am a little frightened by it. I hope that my body keeps up its quick little metabolism and ability to power through calories after this pregnancy, and I hope I stop obsessing sometime soon. I can now sympathize with those who struggle with eating disorders. It’s tough to fight the desire for certain food!
So, that is the reason the part about cake (at 2:00) makes me giggle every time.
So, I’m pregnant. Fully entered into the second trimester, this is supposed to be the time that I feel the best. No more morning sickness, starting-to-show but not-gigantic belly, and all the joy and anticipation of planning a total life change.
The thing is, I am slow and tired. It takes me so long to leave the house every day I am often late to appointments. I realized on the way to a Feldenkrais session this week that I am grieving the loss of my abilities to multitask. Now, 2010 was my sabbatical year and I made my main goal to “unitask” — I’m actually not in favor of multitasking as a general principal. But I am talking about things like eating breakfast and checking twitter on my ipod. Two simple tasks that don’t usually require specific attention. The thing is, I can’t even do that anymore. When I eat breakfast, I have to sit down at the table and focus all of my energy on getting the food into my mouth. It’s the strangest thing.
And, I have to eat. ALL THE TIME. My acupuncturist (Yes, I have one. No they are not evil, mumsy.), Bridgit actually wrote me a “prescription” to eat whole grains and organic fruits and veggies every two hours.
And that’s how it is. If I don’t eat pretty much any time I notice I am hungry, my entire body slows down EVEN MORE and it takes me eight times as long to do something and I start dropping things.
Yikes! It’s like I am your cell phone whose battery suddenly decides that you need to charge it three times every day just to ensure you have juice when you need to make a call.